missin' my love

Tuesday, July 10th... my life changed.. It seemed to be a normal work day: Arrive @ 8, Lumch @ 12 (with my austin), Off @ 5... the usual. Well, lunch time changed my life: Austin and I decided on Wing's Sports Bar and Grill for lunch that day.. and i should have saw it coming because Wing's is the place where we tend to have our heart to heart talks and future changing discussions... We ordered: (2) Sprites, Hamburger Steak for me and Hot Lips Salad for Austin.. The salad should have hinted to me that something wasn't quite right! We had small talk.. then the big statement.. "i might have to go to ohio".. I got quiet, my palms sweaty, the wheels in my head were turning... the first word out of my mouth... "When?" His reply, "This week." Our food arrived, and at this point that hamburger steak covered in gravy was the last thing on my mind. I ate, although i no longer had an appetite.. i didnt want to seem bothered although deep down my heart was breaking. Just like me, I encouraged him to go and let him know that i supported him in every decision.. Then he told me, "i might not have to go, i just have to be ready if they call me." Well, the rest of the day i depended on those words, "i might not have to go..."

Sitting in a desk at Pathology Laboratory Associates, i received the text that would change our lives: As i tried to read it, there were only two words that i could see clearly: LEAVING and TOMORROW.. With humongous tears in my eyes, a lump in my throat, and my heart racing I let him know that i loved him and supported him going to Ohio.. Thoughts filled my mind... He Couldn't Leave Tomorrow, It's His 21st Birthday! We had planned to celebrate together... I even took off work for it. And for a second, i thought i was dreaming... nope! It was reality..

So... when i got off work, i finished a few birthday errands and went straight to Aus' townhouse.. I arrived only to see his truck backed up to the front door and already loaded with his clothes and suitcases... Everything seemed to be happening so fast! I went in... we hugged and cried. I tried to hold it in... but the more i tried not to cry, the more i cried.... We tried to pull ourselves together and enjoy the last afternoon together. We went to my apartment in Mississippi and visited with my grandparents for awhile, then stopped at IHOP in Tillmans Corner for dinner. There we sat on the same side of the boothe, my hands wrapped around his arm (probably cutting off all circulation) and not saying a word... I felt those humongous tears coming back so I excused myself to the restroom. Standing there in the ladies room, watching myself cry in the mirror and pitying myself at the same time.... I asked the Lord for strength. I washed my face with cold water, patted it dry with a paper towel and tried to cover the truth that i had been crying. I walked back out as if it were just a normal trip to the restroom.. although, it really wasn't. Austin assurred me that our love for each other would grow stronger through this... And that's what kept me sane. I ate my Waffle (yes, they do have waffles @ the pancake house.... BUT not pancakes @ the Waffle House!! haha... go figure!) and Austin ate his pancakes and we went back to his townhouse.

I decided to let him open his birthday presents... (1) a gift certificate for a one hour massage (IN MOBILE, that he wouldn't get to use). (2) Scrubs and Seinfield Seasons 1. (3) CD with our song on it.. Lost in this Moment. and (4) Curve Cologne. He smiled... with each one he opened and kissed me :) Making my night better! I left, went to momma's house slept for three hours and arrived back @ Aus' around five... I snuck upstairs and kissed him on the cheek to wake him up! Sometime around six o'clock Austin pulled out of the drive way... with tears running down my face i walked back inside and tried to sleep.

This was the worst day of my life: (1) the love of my life left me.... and (2) I had to go to the dentist! UGH... However, I must say that the dentist did tell me that i had beautiful teeth and no cavities :) SO.. good report i guess! WHOO HOO! Austin... traveled all day to Ohio, It took him somewhere around 15 hours... with three stops! The last stop being one in which he was not so happy... a police stopped him.. AND wrote him a ticket... UGH! How rude!!

Anyways, that's the story of the day my future husband left... He has been in Ohio for three weeks now and our love has grown stronger and deeper. It is still hard not having him around Mobile, and not having my lunch partner, or my love to go see after work... But we are both making it and becoming stronger through this...