Here I am, again...

I'm back! Not because I have the time, but because I'm making the time. There's so much to tell. And, no, I won't remember it all. I started making a list of things to "document," but of course I can't find it anywhere now! And yes, I know EXACTLY who to blame.. she has tiny little fingers and runs around getting her hands into EVERYTHING! My curious, energetic Hallie bug :) OFTEN, I hear people say, "You have your hands full with two babies." I'll admit, I certainly do. But, really, my hands were full with just one baby! Hallie doesn't have the quite, laid back, anything goes type personality like her brother (and myself). She's like her daddy. Curious, talkative, has her hands in everything, and refuses to live the "slow-paced" life. I'm very glad that she took after her daddy! He's a dreamer and an over-achiever! I see that in Hallie already. And it's wonderful. But some days, mommy would like to relax, kick-back and watch some Mickey Mouse or cartoons with both of her babies! That doesn't happen often ;) Usually, we are exploring! Seeing what we can get our hands into! It's a different life for me, she challenges mommy, and I need that. Hallie bug is 16 months old now. And still loves her Wocket. He goes EVERYWHERE she goes. Last week, around nap time, we lost him. I ran around the house FRANTIC searching for him. All I could think was that she dropped him at the grocery store earlier that morning. Finally, I found him in the garage. And that's when I realized the reason she stood at the door for AWHILE talking "Hallie" (which not even I understand yet) or "jibberish" and whining! He's a really good friend to her. He takes EVERY picture with her and allows her to suck on his nose. It's her thing, and it's really GROSS. Now we know why it was so easy to take the pacifier away from her! She had Wocket's nose! ;) She's a lover. It melts my heart seeing her love on Gabe. It's precious. He doesn't always like it though! Sometimes she's a little rough. Even though she doesn't mean to be. Gabe watches her every move and smiles at her a lot. It's very sweet. Gabe is growing so fast! I can't believe he's 5 months old. I started spoon-feeding him cereal a few weeks ago. He LOVES it! And started sleeping 12 hours at night. Mommy LOVES it too :) He's started baby food too. He's tried bananas, applesauce, and pears. I plan to introduce some veggies soon. Trying not to rush things this time. I want him to stay a baby as long as possible! I tell him all the time that mommy will do everything for him and he doesn't have to grow up. Although, I know that he does and he is... Like sister, he's not a fan of tummy time. He'd rather be sitting up. And he is now, all by himself! It's so cute. One more thing- Gabe is a blanket man! He loves the warmth and security they provide. We stopped swaddling him around 3-1/2 months, but I really think he'd let us do it now if there were a blanket big enough. He loves a blanket close to his face and tucked around him while he sleeps. Actually, anytime. Playing, swinging, sitting up, watching tv- he wants to be covered up. Because of this, he has quite the collection of "blankies!"

Dear Gabriel Tanner

"He'll be mine!" That's what I've said since the day that we found out you were a boy. You're five months old now, and I'd like to say that I was right! You really are a momma's boy. And I'm so proud. You truly are a blessing in my life. The way that you smile at me makes everyday worth it. You, Austin Gabriel, are precious. Thank you for being MINE and please be MINE forever.

I love you handsome,
Mommy

Dear Hallie Elizabeth

You're one now. And so beautiful. I stare at you often. Thinking you have so many of the qualities that I've always admired in others. Both personality & beauty. You're outspoken and never meet a stranger. Just like daddy. You say "hey" to everyone you meet. But once you have their attention, you're shy and reserved like mommy. I love that about you. And your smile, it's contagious. I can't help but smile back when I see your beautiful dimples. And your big blue eyes. Maybe I'm partial because they're the only thing you inherited from me, but they're GORGEOUS. I'm proud of you.
I love you beautiful,
Mommy

Dear Baby

I love to write. It's the way I express myself. Words. Speaking them, not so much. When I began blogging, I titled this space of thoughts/ memories "dear baby." And this commercial gave me inspiration...



...to dedicate my writings to my babies-- Aus, Hallie, and Gabe. Since life has been so BUSY lately, I haven't had time to write. But, I'm getting in the swing of things and hopefully will be posting more often. And many of my posts will be dedicated, or written specifically, to my babies. I even created email addresses (dear.hallie.elizabeth & dear.austin.gabriel) that I'll send frequent letters to. My kids are growing so fast, and there are moments that I will cherish forever (like the first time she wrapped her arms around me and called me momma, or the first time he smiled at me and looked into my eyes). I hope that writing/ emailing will be a way for me to look back and remember. And one day, for my babies to cherish. So, here's to them! My 3 loves!

Turning One.

It's officially come and gone. One year. As most mommies would say, it doesn't seem right. Just yesterday she was lying in my arms helpless, so to speak. Now, she's anything but... She's sat up, crawled, now walks. She's been nursed, bottle fed, spoon fed, now tiny, little finger fed. She's grunted, cooed, babbled, and jabbered. Now, she's saying words like baby, ball, and bye. My blue eyed 7 pound baby is now 23 pounds and all grown up, and it's only been a year.
Her party: It's the day I'd been thinking about for months and planning. I wanted it to be perfect. And although many suggested we do a small, family "to-do," I didn't want that. She would be celebrated like the princess that she is and everyone would be there. Whether I was 9 months pregnant or carrying a newborn in my arms, she would have her day. And that was just it- I didn't know how things would turn out. I hoped to make it past April 30th. Surely I would, I was convinced. Hallie due the 1st of May, born the 4th. Baby #2 due the 15th of May.. he shouldn't arrive for at least another week or so. I'd have two May babies. I knew it. So, party on April 30th would work out just fine! Invites were ordered, stuffed, sealed, addressed, stamped and mailed... April 30th 3pm @ Hallie's house. It was official, no changing it now. But her little brother decided that it wouldn't be a party if he wasn't there to celebrate too. So, exactly a week before the party he was born. An April baby. An Easter weekend baby. And 11 days before big sisters first birthday (due 11 days after). He couldn't wait. From Monday (the day we came home from hospital) to Saturday, I didn't stop party planning. Decorations, food, presents, shopping, cleaning, etc. Seriously, I'm not sure how I did it all with a newborn and an almost one year old. Did I mention that Austin was working out of town? Thank goodness for wonderful family. Momma went shopping with me and helped with the babies and my aunt, uncle, and cousin came over the day of the party to help me clean, decorate, and cook. And I can't leave out my wonderful husband who worked extremely hard around the house on Saturday. I must say that my family is by far the best. They're so selfless and go above and beyond to help. I'm so blessed. So, I said all of that to say... Hallie had a wonderful party. I couldn't have imagined it any better.

Blessings in Disguise.

Ever wonder why some people act the way they do? Will they every change? What will it take? What causes people to posess such meanness? Do they get some kind of self esteem from hurting others? If I asked you to, you could probably think of at least one person who's hurt you. You may've even asked yourself one of those questions. And sincerely meant it. Wishing for an answer or solution.
I've learned one thing. YOU CAN'T CHANGE THEM. But one of these things can...1. Their own will power. And truthfully, people that intentionally hurt others don't have the self esteem or believe in themselves enough to actually make such a life change. My pastor says, "hurt people, hurt people." Crazy people hurt people too (I added that). So true though. People who are hurting don't want to hurt alone. So, they hurt others. 2. They experience a life changing event such as illness or the death of someone close. You'd never wish it on even your worst enemy. 3. God and conviction. And this is what you pray happens. God gets a hold of them. You've prayed it, I've prayed it. Lord, send conviction. Open their blind eyes. Help them to see their faults. And if this person is someone you truly want a relationship with or maybe even forced to have a relationship with (family, boss, coworker, etc.), you find yourself praying for them. Weekly, daily, and for some cases more than once a day. My childhood pastor preached a message titled, "Thank God for a mean woman." (Or man- if that's your case). Why? Because they keep you on your knees. Be thankful that they're keeping you in prayer and in relationship with the One who matters.
So, what else do you do? Being the loving person that you are you put up with it. And forgive it. Time and time again. Although apologies aren't made. And if they are, you're probably the one apologizing for their mistakes. Or for wrongs you've supposedly made. You walk on pins and needles around them-- making sure every move you make and every word you say is pleasing to them. Praying that nothing is misconstrued or turned into something you never meant. Sounding familiar? You even count your blessings. One week, no drama. Thank you, Lord. Two weeks, Hallelujah. One month, Praise the Lord. And so on.
For myself, I've reached a place in my life where all I do is pray. Lord, give me meaningful relationships. One's that are spiritually uplifting-- to both myself and others. And for the unhealthy relationships, no matter who they may be with, end them. Lord, you're in control.

"When I was a child, I spoke as a child,
I understood as a child, I thought as a child;
but when I became a man, I put away childish things." 1 Corinthians 13

New Arrival :)

Here I am again, blogging. And wow- where do I begin?

Right now (4 am), I'm awake. Which means, one of two things: I'm sick or fulfilling "mommy duties." And thankfully it's the latter. Once again, I'm "on duty" (as MY pillow embroidered in red reads. Guess what my sleeping husbands pillow reads??). My Austin Gabriel Tanner (who didn't have a name until after he was born) arrived 3 weeks early on Saturday, April 23rd at 12 noon! My angel weighed 7lb1oz (one ounce heavier than Hallie was at 40weeks & 3 days) and 20 inches long (1/2 an inch shorter than Hallie). Had he waited 3 more weeks he would've been a big baby! He is perfectly healthy and growing so, so fast as newborns tend to do. He lost down to 6lb6oz, which concerned me because my Hallie bug never lost weight! But I know that loosing up to 10% of their body weight is normal. At his one week check up he weighed 6lb9oz and weighed 7lb8oz one week later! And weight 8lb10oz at his one month checkup. He's growing big-- but still mommy's little baby. It amazes me how my two babies are completely different. From day one Hallie wanted to be a big girl.. but my Gabe is opposite. He wants to be a baby, and I can't say I mind. He wants to be in my arms 24/7. I love that my little man needs me.

Now to Hallie bug! She's walking. Everywhere. And into EVERYTHING. Between 10-11 months she started taking steps. And walking at 12 months. Rarely does she crawl anymore. Hallie has 10 teeth now! We switched her from formula to whole milk the week after she turned one. And transitioned from bottle to sippy cup. She had no problem with the change! Such a big girl. She talks/ jabbers up a storm! Da Da, Ma Ma, Gabe, Baby, Na Na, Paw Paw, Pa Pa, Maw Maw, No No, Uh Oh, Hey, Bye, Thank, and Yay are some of the words she says.